There are many days set aside in non-Islamic societies to honour and
appreciate special people; examples of these are Father's Day, Mother's
Day, Memorial Day and Labour Day. In Islam, however, respecting,
honouring and appreciating parents is not just for a single day of the
year, but rather for each and every day.
B. Parents
in the Quran:
A Muslim child should respect and appreciate his or her parents on a
daily basis. Allaah mentions that human beings must recognise their
parents and that this is second only to the recognition of Allaah
Himself. Throughout the Quran, we notice that parents are mentioned with
appreciation and respect, even if they are senile. In the Quran, there
is a very beautiful description of how parents are to be treated; Allaah
Says (what means): "And
your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents,
good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with
you, say not to them [so much as] 'uff' [i.e., an expression of
irritation or disapproval] and do not repel them but speak to them a
noble word. And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say:
'My Lord! Have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was]
small.'" [Quran 17:23-24]
The recognition and respect of parents is mentioned in the Quran
eleven times; in every instance, Allaah reminds children to recognise
and to appreciate the love and care that they have received from their
parents. One such example is when Allaah says what means: "And We have enjoined upon man
goodness to parents…" [Quran 29:8 & 46:15]
1. The demand for recognising parents is made more emphatic when
Allaah Says (what means): "And
[recall] when We took the covenant from the Children of Israel,
[enjoining upon them]: 'Do not worship except Allaah; and to parents, do
good…'" [Quran 2:83]
2. Allaah again emphasises in chapter An-Nisaa' that children should
be kind to their parents. He says what means: "Worship Allaah and associate nothing with Him,
and to parents do good..." [Quran 4:36]
3. In Chapter Al-An'aam, Allaah reemphasises that people should be
kind to their parents; He says what means: "Say: 'Come, I will recite what your Lord has
prohibited to you. [He commands] that you not associate anything with
Him, and to parents, good treatment...'" [Quran 6:151]
C. Mothers:
Although Islam recognises both parents, mothers are given particular
gratitude and respect. This can be appreciated if we reflect upon the
hardships and suffering that mothers experience in their lives. In this
regard, there is a Hadeeth of the Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam
(may Allaah exalt his mention): It was narrated by Abu Hurayrah, may
Allaah be pleased with him, that a man came to the Prophet sallallaahu
'alayhi wa sallam and asked him: 'Who is most deserving of my close
companionship?' He sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam replied: “Your mother;
your mother; your mother; then your father; then the next closest to you
in kinship; then the one next closest.”
Islam has endorsed respect for parents by their children, even if the
parents are non-Muslims. If parents strive to convert their children to
non-Islamic beliefs, the children should not obey them, but must still
maintain goodness towards them. In this regard, Allaah says what means: "And We have enjoined upon man
[care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in
weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is two years. Be grateful to Me
and your parents; to Me is the [final] destination. But if they
endeavour to make you associate with Me that of which you have no
knowledge, do not obey them but accompany them in [this] world with
appropriate kindness and follow the way of those who turn back to Me [in
repentance]. Then to Me will be your return, and I will inform you
about what you used to do." [Quran 31:14-15]
D. More
Respect:
Islam teaches us that of the most beloved deeds to Allaah, having
respect for one's parents is second only to that of prayer and is
greater than that of Jihaad (fighting in His cause). In this respect,
Abu 'Abdur-Rahmaan 'Abdullaah Ibn Mas’ood, may Allaah be pleased with
him, narrated the following: "I asked the Prophet sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam: 'Which deed
is the most beloved to Allaah?' He sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam
replied: "Prayers performed on time." I then asked: 'Which one is next?'
He replied: "Goodness to parents." I then asked: 'Which is next?' He
replied: "Jihaad in the path of Allaah.""
In Islam, respect for parents is so great that the child and his
wealth are considered to be the property of the parents: `Aa’ishah, may
Allaah be pleased with her, narrated that a man came to the Prophet
sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam in order to resolve a dispute that he had
with his father regarding a loan he had given him. The Prophet
sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam said to the man: "You and your wealth are to (i.e., the
property of) your father."
E. Final
Remarks:
We hope and pray that all of us will respect our parents while they
are alive and after their death. One can honour his parents after their
death through the following methods:
1. Performing daily Du'aa' (supplication)
for them.
2. Giving charity on their behalf.
3. Instituting a perpetual charity on their
behalf, such as a mosque, an Islamic Centre, an Islamic library, an
Islamic hospital, an orphanage, etc.
4. Performing Hajj on their behalf, or
asking someone to do so.
5. Distributing Islamic literature on their
behalf.
Let us pray to Allaah that we do our best to
respect our parents, honour them, be kind to them, assist them, and
please them so that we may attain the love of Allaah.
O Allaah! Accept our humble prayers and make us obedient slaves to
You.
O Allaah! Help us to be respectful children to our parents. Aameen.
By: Dr Ahmad H. Sakr
